IF Comp '08 Review - RagtimeNerd's NerdQuest!
I don’t think I am smart enough to play this game. By which I mean I don’t actually know how to make the game run. There is a DOS file. I suppose I could download DOSBox. The readme says:
Nerd Quest is written using MechaniQue. Included is the Java interpreter, which you may
run by typing
java mechanique/m2 -p nerdquest.xbook
in the game’s directory.
I am pretty sure, though, that this is some sort of red herring, perhaps even a nefarious one. Also, my life is severely lacking in Choco Taco. Be right back.
Hmm. Nope. Not so much running, as such. Perhaps other reviewers will know what to do.
If you experience problems with MechaniQue, you can run this game from the website of
MechaniQue (the game is served using MechaniQue Server). Here is the URL:
Oh thank God.
Okay, let’s play this thing before it self-destructs.
[spoilers start here]
You are a developer for an IT company: Great Sites Inc.
I wonder if they’re anything like site-pimp.com?
Tonight you have a date with your new girlfriend Debby, you’d better not be late! Unfortunately a hacker has broken into the systems of the company tonight…
If Debby is any sort of girlfriend, she would be understanding if I called her and told her I was going to be late because of a hacker. She might even offer to bring over some takeout which we could - oh, hey, I bet she’s the hacker! Fifty dragon kill points to this game if she is.
The manager wants you to fix this. Although you have explained him your situation, he and his friend (a stupid but agressive body builder) lock you up in the server room with a phone, only to be used when it’s fixed.
Remind me never to get a tech support job in the Netherlands.
X doesn’t work, EXAMINE doesn’t work, LOOK AT works. Good to know.
Ha ha, Windoze! That’s a good one! See, it’s like Windows, except it makes you sleepy! Get i- I don’t get it.
There is a text on the screen: “I am a very sick computer”.
Oh! That’s sad. And reminiscent of what happened to my iPod. I will make you all better, computer! I love you! There’s ham in the fridge!
A coffee mug. The only true friend of a code cowboy.
Is it a male thing, romanticizing one’s job like that? “I can’t afford to love you, baby. I’m a lone wolf. A free agent. A night auditor. And when this bucket check stops printing and I’ve made out the list for the housekeepers and put out the continental breakfast and it’s seven o’clock and my shift’s over, I’ll be gone.”
> look at pinguin
It’s useless.
Oh.
Computer books. From a book’s perspective IT is the opposite of religion. Religious books seem to enjoy eternal fame, while IT books become obsolete before their pages turn yellow..
That’s very philosophical.
Why do we even have a storage closet if everything in it is useless?
Okay, game, I’m cheating. Oh, of course, there’s a trapdoor under the box. It’s a trapdoor closet. Everything makes sense now!
You insert the CD in the PC.After a couple of minutes all kinds of viruses infest the PC and bring the security system down. You hear a click and the led near the door becomes green.
This is what I believe is called “a scathing indictment of Windows.”
The poster depicts a pinguin smashing a window with an apple.
This is what I believe is called “Linux geek humor.” Also, I know you’re Dutch, and therefore I can’t blame you for typing all english frong*, but it’s penguin. With an E. Spellcheck would have caught this as well as the missing G in “aggressive.” Spellcheck is good for your game. It lends polish. Think of it as shaving your neckbeard before a big job interview.
There is a certain amount of nervewracking ambiguity involved in typing TAKE LAXATIVE.
Nope, Debby was not the hacker. You know, I’m starting to run out of competition games, and far too many of them have been underimplemented. “It’s useless” is not a valid object description, yet it was the one used for everything in the storage closet. Things can have other qualities besides usefulness! “This is a stuffed pinguin” would have been an improvement! That is sad! Do you see why that is sad?
Scoring… oh, gosh, how does this compare to the other underfinished games in this year’s comp? It was sort of Escape from the Underworld with fewer puzzles, I guess, except it wasn’t maddeningly buggy. Escape from the Underworld got a four; I am giving NerdQuest a three, because I get the distinct sense that the game is nothing more than an excuse to write a new system (which I’m sure the authors had a lot of fun doing, but there is no need to drag us into it) and doesn’t actually care about itself in the slightest. So I’m not going to either.
* This is a reference to my favorite KoL forums poster, whose signature reads:
i,m dutch so dont blame me for typinhg all english frong……
Thank you, dennyboy, for teaching us to laugh about love again.
