A quick note about the meanness of these reviews.
I don’t want anyone whose game I am reviewing to intercept and internalize any anger, vitriol, snark, or seething blinding hatred I may be directing at their game. Do I have a fucking game in the competition this year? No I do not. Therefore, can I even fucking talk? No I can not. Also, even if your game is shit, you’re probably a lovely person whom I’d quite like if we met socially. ‘Cause, man, if people were represented solely by their IF output, I dunno if I’d be dating “Jackhammer-For-A-Hat” Conner over there. I get it! I have a headache! I know! Thank you! You’re helping!
Also I do realize it is not technically Andrew Plotkin’s fault that Shade made me afraid to go to the bathroom for two years, and he’s probably also a lovely person, and I should stop blaming my crazy on him and other people in general. (I don’t even know why the bathroom. That game didn’t even have a particularly scary bathroom. I mean, I still eat crackers.)
Where were we? Oh yes. I think it’s awesome that all y’all got up the motivation to write a game and the balls to submit it for judgment by random fucks on the internet, and anything they say that you’re unable to parse as valid, constructive criticism you should fuck in the face and call Susan. (Also bear in mind that the critics who are trying to be funny will always slant a little meaner, because it’s generally funnier.)
…fucking jackhammer for a hat.
1 year ago