my blog loves me
Helpful links to IF Comp '08 reviews, so no one has to delve into the spoilery muck below:
Lair of the CyberCow (UPDATED) / The Lucubrator / The Hall of the Fount of Artois (UPDATED) / Snack Time! / Buried in Shoes / The Absolute Worst Game / Dracula's Underground Crypt / School of Forbidden Wisdom (UPDATED) / Red Moon / When Machines Attack / Violet / The Lighthouse / Opening Night / Ananachronist / Riverside / Freedom / Piracy 2.0 / Afflicted / Trein / A Date with Death / Grief / Escape from the Underworld / Magic / A Martian Odyssey / Channel Surfing / Recess at Last / NerdQuest / Everybody Dies / Cry Wolf / Project Delta / Search for the Ultimate Weapon / Berrost's Challenge / The Missing Piece / April in Paris / Nightfall
Final scores and capsule summaries.
A quick note about the meanness of these reviews.
Also I should link to Riff's blog, just to pretend that's not how you got here in the first place.
Don’t feel the need to skip this if you haven’t seen the movie. It’s funny either way, and it’s not like this is a movie experience that is going to be ruined for you by spoilers. The only way to ruin Transformers 2 for yourself is to develop very particular cataracts that render you unable to see Megan Fox’s cleavage, or to go into the movie expecting it to be any good.
Megan Fox’s cleavage isn’t even my favorite cleavage, if we’re getting tangential - Angelina Jolie’s wetsuited nipples in Tomb Raider 2 are worth at least fifteen Megan Fox cleavages, dry or dripping - but it’s the only even remotely enjoyable part of this movie I can think of. Is UP still playing? UP was good. Read the Topless Robot thing and go see UP. If it’s still playing. If you’re reading this months from now, Netflix it. If you’re reading this months from now but you’re some sorta Luddite who refuses to embrace the future, rent it from a physically existant brick-and-mortar video rental store. I’d add to the list of contingencies but that’s only getting us farther and farther away from nipples.
23 hours agoAs it’s explained on the Twin Galaxies forum, Inky’s position on the screen may seem random, but it’s actually based on a the relationship between Pac-Man and Blinky, the red ghost.
Call me easily amused, but I found this fascinating. In related news, this shirt arrived for me off Threadless today. It’s all sold out of the men’s sizes and hoodies, which means you can get the girly sizes on sale, as is also the case with this shirt. I mention this because males are incomplete females whose damaged, deformed Y chromosomes render them incapable of loving or looking good in t-shirts, the very t-shirts so desperately needed to bring about groovy female Armageddon.
Baby.
1 week agoWhy did no one fucking tell me about Late of the Pier?
In related news, I am in love with the “Let people answer this” checkbox. Sorry!
2 weeks ago
Joe once left somebody a note saying their penis wasn’t big enough for one parking spot, let alone two. Anyway, these are great.
1 month agoTiny death monkeys. I mean TINY.
Riff: good grief
Riff: The one on the right is seriously thinking about jumping into your ear, hollowing out your brain, and driving you around like a war mecha while cackling evilly.
Riff: the one on the left is sleepy.
1 month agoWho would win in a ridiculousness contest, Dinosaucers or Street Sharks?
In this corner, four formerly ordinary teenagers assist the Dinosaucers in their battle against Genghis Rex and the evil Tyrannos!
In this corner… um… well, they’re sharks. The kind of shark that is half people! And they’ve got a black doctor friend, and one of them plays the drums. Or, wait, maybe she’s a scientist? She’s got a lab coat, anyway, and it was a lot harder for female black persons to get one of those in the eighties on account of Fundamental Reaganatic Inequity. I am just making shit up now because Street Sharks, as nuts as it is, did not provide me with an awesome phrase like “Genghis Rex and the evil Tyrannos,” and I have to say something.
In what ways was I misspending my youth to have missed both of these?
1 month ago
